He gave her the coin and she put it in a little purse. Francis found himself at a standstill. He forced himself to speak. He was alarmed at the quiescence of his conscience under the influence of Mrs. Entwistle and the garden and the radiant thankfulness in Annie’s face. Her gratitude to him made it very difficult for him to perform what he conceived to be his duty. A humorous gleam shot through his brain, and he began to think himself a little absurd; but he pricked his conscience and it stifled the gleam. He looked very serious as he said :
“I suppose—I hope you realise that you have no right to be happy. You are bringing a child into the world in sin . . .”
He could not go on. He saw that he had hurt the girl to the quick.
“I’m sorry,” he said hurriedly. “It is very difficult. I only wanted to be sure that you realised, that you knew, that—that . . .”
With bowed head and with her hands in her lap, Annie said in a low voice:
“I do know all that, sir. I thought that myself, sir, when I first come. Every night I cried because I was so wicked, and I thought I should never be forgiven, and mother had said such awful things to me. But Mr. Folyat came . . .&rdquo ;
“Frederic?”
“No, sir, Mr. Serge. He comes every Saturday. He [Pg 222]paints all the afternoon and then comes here in the evening. Sometimes he walks a great many miles. He come and said I must never have any thought in my head that wasn’t happy, that I must never for a single instant let myself be afraid, for the sake of the child. He said everything that happened to me happened to the child too. And I’ve tried and I have been happy, so I know it’s true. He says: ‘What’s done is done, and people aren’t wicked all the time or good all the time.’ I don’t understand everything he says, but I always feel better when he comes, and I don’t think of anything but it. I want it to love me . . .”
service apartment hong kong
“Of course, of course,” said Francis. “It is very important for you to be well, but you must not imagine . . .”
“I couldn’t take money from you, sir, if you thought me wicked. I have been wicked, but I’m not wicked any longer. I couldn’t do—what I did, ever again. I couldn’t be so silly . . .”
Francis thought to himself: “I must make her appreciate the peril through which her soul has passed. . . . She seems to be leaving her soul out of consideration altogether. I must make her see that she has a soul and can only find true happiness in its salvation through . . .” Once more he drew back from the contemplation of difficulties which he felt were too intricate for him. He said:
